January 11, 2011

an update of sorts.

i haven't written in a spell. trying to focus some energies - trying to figure out how to bundle thoughts into precise packages of stanzas. i work. alot. more than i should at my age (i heard a fellow DU grad refer to her current state of joblessness 7 months after graduation as "funemployment". i wanted to smack her out of nothing more than pure jealousy) so when i finally get some time to myself, i sleep. or as of late, cycling through insomnia and too much sleep, i read. i finished a really great book called Tinkers. i'm going to post about it soon. now i'm reading Primo Levi's Periodic Table. but that's neither here nor there. here are some floating thoughts right now.

states away, my grandmother is getting back to her Norwegian roots
dying near the Canadian border in the dead of winter
mother flies to her side on Thursday
i fear she's being led to slaughter, mother that is
grandma is having a procedure involving platelet manipulation
her blood appears to have turned toxic
almost forty years of bitterness can do that i hear
it is fitting and i don't feel sorry for her because she was always mean
took back those Nancy Drew's she gave us for Christmas
i thought i'd learn some tricks that would help me figure out why she was so hateful
perhaps i would fret over her almost death then
but this is now and now we have
heat in the house and i've got a little money saved for books and i am walking
to the store at night and buying discounted persimmons to eat while i watch my prayer candles
burning down until tonight's magic hour so i can wish or pray or just believe
that these bets i've made will pay out
that the ice cubes in my glass won't wane until i can locate my own roots
turn a heel and sneak back to a border, cold water sloshing in my veins.